Many things change when you become a parent: your sleep schedule, your tolerance for smelling poop, and your hair color to name a few. But the biggest change comes in the form of your possessions–the fact that you no longer have any. The baby products take over your man-cave. Trucks, dinosaurs, and Barbies litter the living room. And, somehow, Lego blocks end up in your bedroom, right where you plop your feet down. The truth is, once you have kids, you can’t have nice things.
Why We Can’t Have…
A Dog: Because Acne Cream doesn’t work like shampoo.
A Sports Car: Because over-crowding and flying elbows are a problem…
…also, those stains.
A Laptop: Because Q, A, S, and you’re out of Ctrl.
A Yard-Toss Game: Because after twenty minutes of trying to untangle your mess, I opted for scissors.
Puzzles: Because Penguins shouldn’t be skinned.
Potted Plants on the Floor: Because not all trees should be climbed.
Fish: Because the oil in croutons is deadly to them.
Nice Furniture: Because teething.
Lamps: Because you almost burned our house down.
Nice Clothes: Because Ice Cream.
I wish this was the end of the post, but I have a solid seven-years worth of pictures I could comb through for more material. Also, I doubt the kids are done destroying things. Be sure to check out The Parenting Dad on Facebook for updates on how the children are ruining the things I love.